Son of New Chocolate Reviews

the Newest New Candy Bar Reviews

Truely this is a golden age from experimental candy concoctions being offered on a limited basis. Exclusive to Nice Guy Online, an in depth look at what's out there on the candy shelves in the 2004 and 2005. And I'm not even supposed to be eating refined sugar...

Hershey's Cookies 'n' Mint: I don't know why food manufacturers feel compelled to dye everything that is supposed to taste of mint an unnatural green hue. I know mint leaves are green, but so is almost every plant. I guess this thing may have tasted ok, but I was too distracted by the color to even notice. I felt like I was eating a thin, flat bar of Irish Spring soap, with cookie pieces in it for texture.

Hershey's Cookies 'n' Chocolate: You may think of Hershey's as a large chocolate corporation that owns a small town in Pennsylvania, but that won't stop them from keepin' it real and using the 'n' instead of spelling out the word "and". Other than the omission of the letters 'a' and 'd', there is nothing remarkable about this candy bar to report. Already gone and forgotten.

Hershey's Double Chocolate: This chocolate bar filled with fudgey-goo is tolerable but, personally, I prefer my own private recipe for Double Chocolate; a Hershey's bar sandwich with two Hershey's bars as bread and a mixture of Hershey's chocolate syrup and chocolate chips in the middle. Now that's good eatin'!

Hershey's with Caramel: I liked this candy bar a lot more when I tried it the first time... when it was called Caramellow.

Hershey's TwoSomes: The "scientists" over at Hershey's are definately struggling to come up with an original candy bar idea. It seems like they are just mixing Hershey's chocolate with whatever other candy they can buy from the vending machine in the hall. Exhibit A: the gruesome TwoSomes. I was anxious to get the worst of them out of the way, so I ate the Whoppers first. It was even more vile than I had feared. The Heath bar mix wasn't not bad. The real unexpected suprise (is there any other type of surprise) was the mini Pieces combo. The candy shell and taste-tacular peanut butter bits fraternized generously with the chocolate for a snacking sensation not to be forgotten. This particular inter-candy mingling is everything that half-assed m*Azing bar wishes it could be. Apparently I'm not the only candy patron who thinks this way because, months later, all the mini Pieces TwoSomes are gone while there is still a full box of the Whoppers mixture remaining.

Donutz: New! Just in time to cross-promote the remake of the Willy Wonka movie (just slightly better than Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes remake); chocolate filled with chocolate cream covered with rainbow sprinkles (aka jimmies) in the shape of a miniature donut (aka donette). This is actually a lot less disgusting than you would think. I'm not saying it isn't at all disgusting; I'm just saying it is LESS disgusting than you would expect.

KitKat Inside Out: Well, what do we have here? A KitKat bar with chocolate wafers and chocolate creme on the inside? Has the world gone deliciously mad? Before you get all excited, I should warn you that it is all coated with white chocolate. While this may look like an inside out KitKat, it is really just a clever way marketing another nasty candy that breaks into four pieces. Now, if only they would take the chocolate wafers and creme and coat them in chocolate...

KitKat Triple Chocolate: This ain't your Granny's KitKat. No this one has got so much chocolatey flavor the dopamine receptors in your brain may explode. This product got me so excited I called up Hershey's, the distibutors of KitKat, to get my enthusiasm on the record. The receptionist there told me that all these Limited Edition bars are really just a way to test market new products. She also told me that KitKat Dark is back as a special "Holiday Edition" and that the reason Great Britain has so many awesome KitKat flavors is because they are made by Nestles over there. She also told me that Hershey's won't give me free products for endorsing KitKat on this website. Thanks for nothing, bitch.

KitKat Orange & Creme: Again with the "creme"?! Here in America we spell it "cream" or maybe even "kream". Get it right! Not that any permutation of spelling would convince any self-respecting consumer to eat one of these abominations. If you like "cremey" citrus flavored candy that isn't quite chocolate and isn't quite fruity, you should just kill yourself now because you obviously have nothing positive to contribute to society.

KitKat Dark: I don't know what is more unsettling; the fact that I purchased these special "Holiday Edition" re-releases of the dark chocolate KitKat in June the following year, or that I could probably sell them on eBay for 5 bucks each. I really don't know why KitKat doesn't just wise up and distribute the Dark nationwide full time. Maybe they're the ones selling them on eBay for the big bucks.

KitKat Extra Creamy: I don't get it. How can it claim extra creamyness in the same sentence as it proclaims the crispyness of the wafers? What's that? You say that it is the chocolate coating that is supposed to be extra creamy? Well, I guess it makes sense, sort of. At least they spelled "Creamy" correctly. I still think calling a KitKat extra creamy is a pretty poor gimmick. Particularly when it tastes identical to a normal KitKat.

KitKat Coffee: Once a coworker told me that he had bought some coffee flavored KitKat at the Pac N' Save earlier that morning but had eaten it before he got a chance to show me and it was delicious. I called him a filthy, rotten liar and swore never to speak to him again. About a week later I saw one for myself and thought that I owed him an apology. But then I tasted it and realized that he was, in fact, a dirty fibber because rather than being delicious it was nausiating. Another miss from the folks at KitKat. On the up side, I never have to talk to my coworker again.

KitKat Mint: The candy of my dreams. For years those uncouth Europeans have enjoyed Mint KitKats while I'm stuck in the US eating regular KitKats like a chump. Then, when I least expected it, sitting there innocently in the box of regular KitKats is a lone Mint. I don't know where it came from. All I know is that was the only one I have ever seen in America in my life and I know it wasn't a dream because I took a photo. If you ever see any of these, buy them all or regret it for the rest of your life!

Nestle Toll House Candy Bars: Nestle drops the bomb on your well being with several Toll House candy bar styles. The heart-stopping Brownie, and the gut-busting Cookie. Let's take some raw brownie dough and top it with caramel. Don't forget to coat it in chocolate. Hell, let's just deep fry that sucker in lard, wrap it in cotton candy, wash it down with a milkshake, and call it a day.

Reese's Pieces with Nuts: You might think that putting a peanut in a peanut butter piece would be too much peanutness. You'd be wrong... again. The peanut adds a nice crunch and texture to the piece, while still retaining the candyshell-peanut-butter dynamic that made ET so popular back in the day. I used to walk the path of peace, but now I'm walking the path of pieces.

Reese's SnackBarz: New! An energy bar from Reese's. And spelled with a "Z" at the end, so you know it's extreme. It may look like a candy bar, it may be covered in chocolate like a candy bar, it may have the Reese's peanut butter taste of a candy bar, but it's got the outrageously high price ($1.50) of an energy bar.

Honey Roasted Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: I was pretty excited to spy a box of these hiding behind the regular Cups at the ghetto sto' near my work. I didn't notice any difference at all from regular Reese's cups. After the "Extra Creamy" fiasco (see review below) I did a side-by-side taste test and I may have noticed a slight difference in taste. Perhaps, sweeter, maybe less salty. Maybe not. The honey-comb packaging is spiffy, though. Limited Edition, so get 'em while they last.

White Chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: Of all the products that should be limited, this one isn't. Not even the salty sweet peanut butter could make this thing worthwhile. Does anybody out there eat white chocolate when regular (or even better, dark) chocolate is available? What kind of degenerate scum would make such a foul decision. Get the hell out of here. And take your white chocolate with you.

Extra Smooth & Creamy Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: I called bullshit on Reese's, claiming the Extra Smooth tasted exactly like a regular PB cup. Then, I get an email calling bullshit on me, claiming my reviews are hardly scientific and that if I had done a side-by-side comparison, I would notice a considerable difference. If you think I won't amend my reviews for any Reese's fanboy who calls my bluff, think again, chump. In a side-by-side comparison, I did notice a difference: the Extra Smooth style sucks much more than the regular cup. It completely lacks that salty flavor that make Reese's so good. Let this be a lesson: I'll respond to any email sent my way.

Reese's Peanut Butter Lovers & Chocolate Lovers: For a few magical months in the spring of 2005 I participated in the most important vote of my life: Chocolate vs. Peanut Butter; let's settle this once and for all! After trying one of each, side by side, bite to bite, I wasn't convinced. And how did I know I wasn't just voting for a candy bar electoral college, and that my vote wouldn't even count if I didn't vote with the majority in my state?! No way am I falling for that again, so I just piled the remaining cups together and took a bite...
"You got your Peanut Butter Lovers cup in my chocolate!"
"No, you got your Chocolate Lovers cup in my peanut butter!"
"Why, it's delicious!!!"

Reese's Big Cup: This is, literally, one big cup. Like, twice the size of a regular peanut butter cup. Four times the size of them mini cups. Well, I'm not impressed. You won't catch me getting all frenzied until they come out with a super massive cup. In fact, it should be so big that it isn't a cup at all... it's a Reese's Peanut Butter Cauldren. (ps - if you think I'm gonna review the white chocolate version of this thing, think again, chump.)

Reese's Big Cup with Nuts: Or, as I like to call them, Reese's BigNuts. This is one big ol' cup of peanut butter, but with whole peanuts mixed in. The crisp nuts broke up the otherwise monotonous chore of eating a regular Big Cup. And just for the record; as of August of 05 I call dibs on the ideas of Dark Chocolate cups, Caramel cups, Almond Butter cups, Almond Butter Cups with Almonds, mini-Big Cups (aka medium cups), and Double Chocolate cups. Whatcha gonna do now, Reese!?

Snickers Marathon: New "long lasting energy bar" from the makers of Snickers... Mars. Crisped rice, chocolate, caramel, and peanuts sock you in the gut with 16 vitamins & minerals, and 9 grams of protein. I recommend this tasty treat for all marathon runners who intend to finish in less than 4 hours. The "long lasting energy" comes from all the sugar.

Honey Roasted Payday: Yet another limited edition candy treat. I wonder if these bars are so limited that they will someday be worth tons of money. I sure hope so, cause I sold all my mutual funds and invested in a walk-in freezer full of these. If limited edition Payday bars don't sound like a sound growth investment for you, I would just stick to the regular Payday, cause they taste exactly the same.

Hershey's S'mores: As soon as I caught wind of new Hershey's S'mores I rushed out to find me some. There were only 4 left in the store, so they must be popular, or at least on sale. Long story short, the S'mores bar has milk chocolate, marshmallow, and graham cracker bits. The marshmallow was more like a cross between the 3 Musketeer filling and regular old nougat, and there wasn't nearly enough graham cracker bits to qualify the bar as having true s'mores flavor. Not bad, though.

Hershey's 1carb: Fact: You're a fatso and the only way to miraculously slender your lardy ass is to cut the carbs. Fact: It's an amazing coincidence that a variety of tiny portioned, high priced, low carb options have recently materialized for you to consume. Fact: 1carb is mini Hershey bar with Soy Crisps instead of rice crisps. Fact: It cost $1.50. Fact: In spite of how stupid I felt buying it, it was quite good. Fact: I recommend it to anybody fat and stupid.

Almond Joy Chocolate Chocolate: Peter Paul will be damned if these other chocolate companies hog all the pieces of the sweet Limited Edition candy bar pie. Enter chocolate flavored coconut flavoring, wrapped in chocolate, dipped in chocolate, injected with chocolate, under a coating of chocolate, with an almond and more chocolate. If you like chocolate, get your chocolate fix with chocolatey Chocolate Chocolate.

Almond Joy Piña Colada: To coat anything in white chocolate is wrong, but to coat pineapple flavored coconut flavoring and an almond with white chocolate is a crime against humanity. It makes me want to vomit in disgust, then vomit with rage. Then, after that, I'd stick my finger down my throat and vomit again... just to get my point across.

Almond Joy Passion Fruit: Wrong, wrong, wrong! When will Peter Paul wise up and realize that any type of fruit flavoring will not mix well with the sweetness of the cocoa bean. This steaming pile tasted like chocolate covered Fruit Stripe gum, and I suggest, like gum, you don't swallow it. Poison in a pink wrapper.

Dark Chocolate Twix: It's a safe bet that you can improve almost any candy bar (or any food for that matter) by adding dark chocolate. With the debut of the Dark for Twix, I'm not so sure any more. A refreshing change, sure, but how would you feel if this was the only Twix bar you had to choose from... a world where milk chocolate alternative were only available as Limited Editions. Meditate on it, chump.

Peanut Butter m*Azing: This candy bar is a total failure. I don't know how this got past the test market, but here it is, with freak-show television advertising support and all. Peanut Butter mini M&Ms in a chocolate bar might sound like a solid idea, but the end results are like my power of self control... weak.

Crunchy m*Azing: Now that you've gotten my opinion of the red m*Azing bar, you can probably guess my thoughts on this one as well. What else can I say? Wait- here's a good pun: You should be m*Barrassed to buy this thing in front of anybody you know. Yeah, that'll do nicely.

Dark Chocolate M&M's: M&M's are gonna have to work harder than this. The dark chocolate wasn't bad, but wasn't much different than regular M&M's. And, back in '99, those JarJar Pepsi cans ruined any chance of a man-child being swayed to purchase anything based on a Star Wars marketing tie-in. The only thing cool about these is the new color scheme on the candy: black, navy, gray, maroon, and purple.

Crunch with Peanut Butter: This is a logical follow-up to the Shaq-tacular Crunch with Caramel. Maybe the bold point-of-purchase display got my expectations a little too high, maybe Nestle's just doesn't know peanuts, maybe seeing a new, limited candy bar every week has made me jaded. Sorry, but PB-Crunch just ain't all that.

Crunch Dark: With so many gourmet varietels of dark chocolate flooding out of micro-manufacturers nowadays it can make a candy-obsessed loser like me a tad skeptical when Nestle's presents the Crunch Dark. However, after a few bites of it I could say, with the confidence and authority of a candy-obsessed loser like me, that this is one of the best new candy bars of 2005. Bravo, Nestle, bravo.

Butterfinger Crisp: Butterfingers are gross. "Even the fire won't consume them." But add the word Crisp to it, throw in some wafers and less of whatever it is that Butterfingers are made of, and it ain't that bad. I hear that; Let's do this thing.

York Chocolate Truffle - This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I stumble into the liquor store in my usual reefer induced haze, scare workers and customers alike with my enthusiasm over a new candy bar, and try it to discover it is not only good, but grrrreat! I tell everybody how awesome this new product is, write some internet review no one reads, then, I return days later to restock my sweet tooth and, low-and-behold, my new favorite candy bar is nowhere to be found. Was it all some wonderful dream?

Cajeta Elegancita - This version of Elegancita (which I can only assume is Spanish for 'elephant') consists of two crispy wafer bars with chocolate and cajeta cream, which tastes sort of like coconut. Maybe it's just the gringo talking, but I imagine cajeta is some exotic sugar harvested from a cactus. This candy is delicous in any language, but mostly in English and Spanish.

More reviews coming soon.
remember - New Chocolate Reviews part 1
Eurocandy Reviews
New Soda Reviews
and coming eventually: foreign KitKats!

	the Newest New Candy Bar Reviews Truely this is a golden age from experimental candy concoctions being offered on a limited basis. Exclusive to Nice Guy Online, an in depth look at what's out there on the candy shelves in the 2004 and 2005. And I'm not even supposed to be eating refined sugar...
	Hershey's Cookies 'n' Mint: I don't know why food manufacturers feel compelled to dye everything that is supposed to taste of mint an unnatural green hue. I know mint leaves are green, but so is almost every plant. I guess this thing may have tasted ok, but I was too distracted by the color to even notice. I felt like I was eating a thin, flat bar of Irish Spring soap, with cookie pieces in it for texture.
	Hershey's Cookies 'n' Chocolate: You may think of Hershey's as a large chocolate corporation that owns a small town in Pennsylvania, but that won't stop them from keepin' it real and using the 'n' instead of spelling out the word "and". Other than the omission of the letters 'a' and 'd', there is nothing remarkable about this candy bar to report. Already gone and forgotten.
	Hershey's Double Chocolate: This chocolate bar filled with fudgey-goo is tolerable but, personally, I prefer my own private recipe for Double Chocolate; a Hershey's bar sandwich with two Hershey's bars as bread and a mixture of Hershey's chocolate syrup and chocolate chips in the middle. Now that's good eatin'!
	Hershey's with Caramel: I liked this candy bar a lot more when I tried it the first time... when it was called Caramellow.
	Hershey's TwoSomes: The "scientists" over at Hershey's are definately struggling to come up with an original candy bar idea. It seems like they are just mixing Hershey's chocolate with whatever other candy they can buy from the vending machine in the hall. Exhibit A: the gruesome TwoSomes. I was anxious to get the worst of them out of the way, so I ate the Whoppers first. It was even more vile than I had feared. The Heath bar mix wasn't not bad. The real unexpected suprise (is there any other type of surprise) was the mini Pieces combo. The candy shell and taste-tacular peanut butter bits fraternized generously with the chocolate for a snacking sensation not to be forgotten. This particular inter-candy mingling is everything that half-assed m*Azing bar wishes it could be. Apparently I'm not the only candy patron who thinks this way because, months later, all the mini Pieces TwoSomes are gone while there is still a full box of the Whoppers mixture remaining.
	Donutz: New! Just in time to cross-promote the remake of the Willy Wonka movie (just slightly better than Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes remake); chocolate filled with chocolate cream covered with rainbow sprinkles (aka jimmies) in the shape of a miniature donut (aka donette). This is actually a lot less disgusting than you would think. I'm not saying it isn't at all disgusting; I'm just saying it is LESS disgusting than you would expect.
	KitKat Inside Out: Well, what do we have here? A KitKat bar with chocolate wafers and chocolate creme on the inside? Has the world gone deliciously mad? Before you get all excited, I should warn you that it is all coated with white chocolate. While this may look like an inside out KitKat, it is really just a clever way marketing another nasty candy that breaks into four pieces. Now, if only they would take the chocolate wafers and creme and coat them in chocolate...
	KitKat Triple Chocolate: This ain't your Granny's KitKat. No this one has got so much chocolatey flavor the dopamine receptors in your brain may explode. This product got me so excited I called up Hershey's, the distibutors of KitKat, to get my enthusiasm on the record. The receptionist there told me that all these Limited Edition bars are really just a way to test market new products. She also told me that KitKat Dark is back as a special "Holiday Edition" and that the reason Great Britain has so many awesome KitKat flavors is because they are made by Nestles over there. She also told me that Hershey's won't give me free products for endorsing KitKat on this website. Thanks for nothing, bitch.
	KitKat Orange & Creme: Again with the "creme"?! Here in America we spell it "cream" or maybe even "kream". Get it right! Not that any permutation of spelling would convince any self-respecting consumer to eat one of these abominations. If you like "cremey" citrus flavored candy that isn't quite chocolate and isn't quite fruity, you should just kill yourself now because you obviously have nothing positive to contribute to society.
	KitKat Dark: I don't know what is more unsettling; the fact that I purchased these special "Holiday Edition" re-releases of the dark chocolate KitKat in June the following year, or that I could probably sell them on eBay for 5 bucks each. I really don't know why KitKat doesn't just wise up and distribute the Dark nationwide full time. Maybe they're the ones selling them on eBay for the big bucks.
	KitKat Extra Creamy: I don't get it. How can it claim extra creamyness in the same sentence as it proclaims the crispyness of the wafers? What's that? You say that it is the chocolate coating that is supposed to be extra creamy? Well, I guess it makes sense, sort of. At least they spelled "Creamy" correctly. I still think calling a KitKat extra creamy is a pretty poor gimmick. Particularly when it tastes identical to a normal KitKat.
	KitKat Coffee: Once a coworker told me that he had bought some coffee flavored KitKat at the Pac N' Save earlier that morning but had eaten it before he got a chance to show me and it was delicious. I called him a filthy, rotten liar and swore never to speak to him again. About a week later I saw one for myself and thought that I owed him an apology. But then I tasted it and realized that he was, in fact, a dirty fibber because rather than being delicious it was nausiating. Another miss from the folks at KitKat. On the up side, I never have to talk to my coworker again.
	KitKat Mint: The candy of my dreams. For years those uncouth Europeans have enjoyed Mint KitKats while I'm stuck in the US eating regular KitKats like a chump. Then, when I least expected it, sitting there innocently in the box of regular KitKats is a lone Mint. I don't know where it came from. All I know is that was the only one I have ever seen in America in my life and I know it wasn't a dream because I took a photo. If you ever see any of these, buy them all or regret it for the rest of your life!
	Nestle Toll House Candy Bars: Nestle drops the bomb on your well being with several Toll House candy bar styles. The heart-stopping Brownie, and the gut-busting Cookie. Let's take some raw brownie dough and top it with caramel. Don't forget to coat it in chocolate. Hell, let's just deep fry that sucker in lard, wrap it in cotton candy, wash it down with a milkshake, and call it a day.
	Reese's Pieces with Nuts: You might think that putting a peanut in a peanut butter piece would be too much peanutness. You'd be wrong... again. The peanut adds a nice crunch and texture to the piece, while still retaining the candyshell-peanut-butter dynamic that made ET so popular back in the day. I used to walk the path of peace, but now I'm walking the path of pieces.
	Reese's SnackBarz: New! An energy bar from Reese's. And spelled with a "Z" at the end, so you know it's extreme. It may look like a candy bar, it may be covered in chocolate like a candy bar, it may have the Reese's peanut butter taste of a candy bar, but it's got the outrageously high price ($1.50) of an energy bar.
	Honey Roasted Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: I was pretty excited to spy a box of these hiding behind the regular Cups at the ghetto sto' near my work. I didn't notice any difference at all from regular Reese's cups. After the "Extra Creamy" fiasco (see review below) I did a side-by-side taste test and I may have noticed a slight difference in taste. Perhaps, sweeter, maybe less salty. Maybe not. The honey-comb packaging is spiffy, though. Limited Edition, so get 'em while they last.
	White Chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: Of all the products that should be limited, this one isn't. Not even the salty sweet peanut butter could make this thing worthwhile. Does anybody out there eat white chocolate when regular (or even better, dark) chocolate is available? What kind of degenerate scum would make such a foul decision. Get the hell out of here. And take your white chocolate with you.
	Extra Smooth & Creamy Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: I called bullshit on Reese's, claiming the Extra Smooth tasted exactly like a regular PB cup. Then, I get an email calling bullshit on me, claiming my reviews are hardly scientific and that if I had done a side-by-side comparison, I would notice a considerable difference. If you think I won't amend my reviews for any Reese's fanboy who calls my bluff, think again, chump. In a side-by-side comparison, I did notice a difference: the Extra Smooth style sucks much more than the regular cup. It completely lacks that salty flavor that make Reese's so good. Let this be a lesson: I'll respond to any email sent my way.
	Reese's Peanut Butter Lovers & Chocolate Lovers: For a few magical months in the spring of 2005 I participated in the most important vote of my life: Chocolate vs. Peanut Butter; let's settle this once and for all! After trying one of each, side by side, bite to bite, I wasn't convinced. And how did I know I wasn't just voting for a candy bar electoral college, and that my vote wouldn't even count if I didn't vote with the majority in my state?! No way am I falling for that again, so I just piled the remaining cups together and took a bite... "You got your Peanut Butter Lovers cup in my chocolate!" "No, you got your Chocolate Lovers cup in my peanut butter!" "Why, it's delicious!!!"
	Reese's Big Cup: This is, literally, one big cup. Like, twice the size of a regular peanut butter cup. Four times the size of them mini cups. Well, I'm not impressed. You won't catch me getting all frenzied until they come out with a super massive cup. In fact, it should be so big that it isn't a cup at all... it's a Reese's Peanut Butter Cauldren. (ps - if you think I'm gonna review the white chocolate version of this thing, think again, chump.)
	Reese's Big Cup with Nuts: Or, as I like to call them, Reese's BigNuts. This is one big ol' cup of peanut butter, but with whole peanuts mixed in. The crisp nuts broke up the otherwise monotonous chore of eating a regular Big Cup. And just for the record; as of August of 05 I call dibs on the ideas of Dark Chocolate cups, Caramel cups, Almond Butter cups, Almond Butter Cups with Almonds, mini-Big Cups (aka medium cups), and Double Chocolate cups. Whatcha gonna do now, Reese!?
	Snickers Marathon: New "long lasting energy bar" from the makers of Snickers... Mars. Crisped rice, chocolate, caramel, and peanuts sock you in the gut with 16 vitamins & minerals, and 9 grams of protein. I recommend this tasty treat for all marathon runners who intend to finish in less than 4 hours. The "long lasting energy" comes from all the sugar.
	Honey Roasted Payday: Yet another limited edition candy treat. I wonder if these bars are so limited that they will someday be worth tons of money. I sure hope so, cause I sold all my mutual funds and invested in a walk-in freezer full of these. If limited edition Payday bars don't sound like a sound growth investment for you, I would just stick to the regular Payday, cause they taste exactly the same.
	Hershey's S'mores: As soon as I caught wind of new Hershey's S'mores I rushed out to find me some. There were only 4 left in the store, so they must be popular, or at least on sale. Long story short, the S'mores bar has milk chocolate, marshmallow, and graham cracker bits. The marshmallow was more like a cross between the 3 Musketeer filling and regular old nougat, and there wasn't nearly enough graham cracker bits to qualify the bar as having true s'mores flavor. Not bad, though.
	Hershey's 1carb: Fact: You're a fatso and the only way to miraculously slender your lardy ass is to cut the carbs. Fact: It's an amazing coincidence that a variety of tiny portioned, high priced, low carb options have recently materialized for you to consume. Fact: 1carb is mini Hershey bar with Soy Crisps instead of rice crisps. Fact: It cost $1.50. Fact: In spite of how stupid I felt buying it, it was quite good. Fact: I recommend it to anybody fat and stupid.
	Almond Joy Chocolate Chocolate: Peter Paul will be damned if these other chocolate companies hog all the pieces of the sweet Limited Edition candy bar pie. Enter chocolate flavored coconut flavoring, wrapped in chocolate, dipped in chocolate, injected with chocolate, under a coating of chocolate, with an almond and more chocolate. If you like chocolate, get your chocolate fix with chocolatey Chocolate Chocolate.
	Almond Joy Piña Colada: To coat anything in white chocolate is wrong, but to coat pineapple flavored coconut flavoring and an almond with white chocolate is a crime against humanity. It makes me want to vomit in disgust, then vomit with rage. Then, after that, I'd stick my finger down my throat and vomit again... just to get my point across.
	Almond Joy Passion Fruit: Wrong, wrong, wrong! When will Peter Paul wise up and realize that any type of fruit flavoring will not mix well with the sweetness of the cocoa bean. This steaming pile tasted like chocolate covered Fruit Stripe gum, and I suggest, like gum, you don't swallow it. Poison in a pink wrapper.
	Dark Chocolate Twix: It's a safe bet that you can improve almost any candy bar (or any food for that matter) by adding dark chocolate. With the debut of the Dark for Twix, I'm not so sure any more. A refreshing change, sure, but how would you feel if this was the only Twix bar you had to choose from... a world where milk chocolate alternative were only available as Limited Editions. Meditate on it, chump.
	*Peanut Butter mAzing:** This candy bar is a total failure. I don't know how this got past the test market, but here it is, with freak-show television advertising support and all. Peanut Butter mini M&Ms in a chocolate bar might sound like a solid idea, but the end results are like my power of self control... weak.
	*Crunchy mAzing:** Now that you've gotten my opinion of the red mAzing bar, you can probably guess my thoughts on this one as well. What else can I say? Wait- here's a good pun: You should be mBarrassed to buy this thing in front of anybody you know. Yeah, that'll do nicely.
	Dark Chocolate M&M's: M&M's are gonna have to work harder than this. The dark chocolate wasn't bad, but wasn't much different than regular M&M's. And, back in '99, those JarJar Pepsi cans ruined any chance of a man-child being swayed to purchase anything based on a Star Wars marketing tie-in. The only thing cool about these is the new color scheme on the candy: black, navy, gray, maroon, and purple.
	Crunch with Peanut Butter: This is a logical follow-up to the Shaq-tacular Crunch with Caramel. Maybe the bold point-of-purchase display got my expectations a little too high, maybe Nestle's just doesn't know peanuts, maybe seeing a new, limited candy bar every week has made me jaded. Sorry, but PB-Crunch just ain't all that.
	Crunch Dark: With so many gourmet varietels of dark chocolate flooding out of micro-manufacturers nowadays it can make a candy-obsessed loser like me a tad skeptical when Nestle's presents the Crunch Dark. However, after a few bites of it I could say, with the confidence and authority of a candy-obsessed loser like me, that this is one of the best new candy bars of 2005. Bravo, Nestle, bravo.
	Butterfinger Crisp: Butterfingers are gross. "Even the fire won't consume them." But add the word Crisp to it, throw in some wafers and less of whatever it is that Butterfingers are made of, and it ain't that bad. I hear that; Let's do this thing.
	York Chocolate Truffle - This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I stumble into the liquor store in my usual reefer induced haze, scare workers and customers alike with my enthusiasm over a new candy bar, and try it to discover it is not only good, but grrrreat! I tell everybody how awesome this new product is, write some internet review no one reads, then, I return days later to restock my sweet tooth and, low-and-behold, my new favorite candy bar is nowhere to be found. Was it all some wonderful dream?
	Cajeta Elegancita - This version of Elegancita (which I can only assume is Spanish for 'elephant') consists of two crispy wafer bars with chocolate and cajeta cream, which tastes sort of like coconut. Maybe it's just the gringo talking, but I imagine cajeta is some exotic sugar harvested from a cactus. This candy is delicous in any language, but mostly in English and Spanish.
	More reviews coming soon. remember - New Chocolate Reviews part 1 Eurocandy Reviews New Soda Reviews and coming eventually: foreign KitKats!